Thursday, July 22, 2004

Free Shows

In the hospital, patients wear hospital gowns. In CT, they call them "Johnny Coat's." I've never heard of that before. And I've never found out where the name "Johnny Coat" came from. I've always called it a hospital gown. If anyone does know the origin of the Johnny Coat, I'd love to hear it.

ANYWAY, I digress... As you all know, hospital gowns are famous, or infamous rather, for being WIDE OPEN in the back. They do tie, but when in bed, it's usually easier to keep them untied so you don't get all twisted around and mummified in them, especially as moving around is often hard for my patients.

So, when I stand a patient up and take them for a walk, I always tie the back of the gown. And often I joke with my patients that I'm tieing the gown closed, "I don't want you to flash anyone." Or I'll tell them "No free shows today."

I've gotten some good responses. One woman, as we were going out into the hallway asked if there were any men around. Thinking she was concerned about being exposed, I looked and told her no one was there, and her gown was closed anyway. Her response was "Darn it!"

One guy told me that by closing the gown when he went in the hallway I was "taking all the excitement out of life."

But my very favorite response was from a little 90-something year old lady. I tied her gown and told her, "No free shows today!" Her response was, "Yeah, because if I'm going to give anyone a show, I want to get paid for it!"

I was ROLLING. It was so funny. That's one of my favorite hospital stories. Hope y'all enjoyed it!! Have a good night!!

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