Saturday, July 31, 2004

Shavuah Tov

Shabbat is over, and WHOO HOOO for SHABBAT!!!! I really missed Shabbat. I really missed rest, I really missed shul, I really missed prayer. And it was so amazing, that by deciding to bring this ONE Shabbat back into my life, little by little, I found comfort in today's prayers. One comfort was in a prayer said daily, the other from this week's parshah.

Rob and I haven't been able to find a shul in CT that suits both of us, so today we tried a new shul. It turned out that it's not for us, the congregation, the attitude, and the style, but thats ok. We'll find something.... I found my spirit there today.

The first thing that comforted me was in a prayer said on a daily basis, three times a day. The last part of the silent Amidah. I'm going to give the translation, as that's what I was reading this morning, and besides, my Hebrew isn't so good.

"... Open my heart to your Torah, so that I may pursue your mitzvot. Frustrate the designs of those who plot evil against me. Make nothing of their schemes. Do so because of Your compassion, Your power, Your holiness, and Your Torah. Answer my prayer for the deliverance of my people. May the words of my mouth and the medidations of my heart be acceptable to you..."

And I was awestruck. Words I had recited over and over for ages and ages, all the times I prayed the Amidah, suddenly the words came alight for me. It's exactly what I have been feeling, open my heart to Torah, make nothing of all the things in my life pulling me away from my Judaism, give me the strength to pray and observe and be happy with my spirituality. Accept my words of prayer and my heartfelt spirit. And it was all right there in fromt of me all along.

And in the Sim Shalom prayerbook I was using, there was an alternate translation, which I have always ignored, never read it, but today I took the time to read it.

"...Grant me the privilege of the liberating joy of Shabbat, the privilege of truly tasting the delight of Shabbat. May I be undisturbed by saddness, by sorrw, or by sighing during the holy hours of Shabbat. FIll Your servant's heart with joy, for to You, oh Lrd, I offer my entire being. Let me hear joy and jubilation. Help me to expand the dimensions of all Shabbat delights. Help me to extend the joy of Shabbat to the other days of the week, until I attain the goal of deep joy always. Show me the path of light, the full joy of your Presence, th bliss of being close to You forever..."

And again, it was all right there in fromt of me, prayer to keep the joy of the Shabbat spirit with me, what I've been wanting in my recent life, what I've been missing.

And of that weren't enough, todays parsha was the second telling of the Ten Commandments. Standing there, listening, I felt as if I were standing receiving them from Moses himself. But it was when I was sitting and reading through the parsha, that I found this

"But if you search for the Lrd your Gd, you will find him, if only you will seek Him with all your heart and soul when you are in distress because all these things have befallen you and, in the end, return to the Lrd your Gd and obey Him. For the Lrd your Gd is a compassionate Gd: he will not fail you nor will He let you perish; He will not forget the covenant which he made with you fathers..."

And I felt like some of my prayers were immediately answered. All I have to do is pray, and look, and believe, and that lost spirit will be there for me. I liked that. A lot.

It didn't matter that the Rabbi was chacking his beeper, or that the person reading Torah wasn't actually reading from the Torah, but was reading from the chumash, and the congregation wasn't really my type... none of it mattered. Thats just one shul, I can find another, what matters is I found part of my answer, found some help and solace in one single shabbat service.

It made me feel that I can do it again, fit it all back into my life. I'm not sure how, I'm not ready to quit the job I have, nor am I ready to tell my cousin, sorry, I can't go to your engagement party, or my friend sorry I can't go to your wedding, because it's on Saturday. But I can start again with the little things: candles, reading, learning, prayer, Kosher.... I'll go to shul when I can, if not, I'll find a way to pray on my own. I did it once, I can try again, and maybe one day I'll be able to find that job with Saturdays off. For now, its ok, I'm doing my best. I'm just glad I feel spirit again. Rob commented on a previous post that Gd was closer to me than I thought. He was right. Thank you Rob.

After shul I took my Shabbat nap, and then Rob and I did our own thing the rest of the day. It was a very nice Shabbat, a very meaningful Shabbat, and I am very thankful.

Friday, July 30, 2004

Shabbat Shalom!!!

It's Friday and the evening is winding down, the sun will soon be setting. Shabbat is upon us, the first Shabbat that I will have appreciated in a long time. I am thankful for this opportunity to relax, pray, spend quality time with Rob, not worry about work, or anything, just spend time resting and being together. Have taht quiet spiritual time that I so desperately need. It's funny that you don't always appreciate the little things in life, I took my weekends for granted until half of them were gone. Now I'm beyond excited to have a weekend off, and have no other obligations such that I can rest and relax and enjoy the Shabbat Spirit.

Shabbt Shalom everyone, I will post more when Shabbat is over. Until then I wish you a peaceful, loving, and spiritual Shabbat.

This Land is Your Land...

If you haven't already, check out the This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land video from JibJab
It's an absolutely hysterical political cartoon video with kerry and Bush insulting each other. Its HILARIOUS!!!



Today is Friday and my weekend off is here! YAY!!!!!

Today is Friday and tonight is Shabbat!!!! DOUBLE YAY!!! YAY!!!!

I'm just glad that I have a weekend, and I hope that I'll have a good weekend, as my weekends are so important to me. Hopefully I'll be able to go to Shul this Shabbat, and if not, while disappointing, I plan to have Shabbat's spirit in my heart. To try to re-add some small thing in my journey back. To enjoy Rob's company this weekend, spend time just relaxing together, being together.

So today is Friday, and I have to go to work now, but this morning I feel hopeful and spiritual. I feel stronger going into my day, that I will have a good day, with Shabbat to look forward to tonight. I wish everyone a good, peaceful and strong day as well.


Thursday, July 29, 2004

"Success of therapy is not measured in monetary gains, but in human spirit."

One of my patients was discharged today.

Well, you might think, you work in a hospital, one of your patients might be discharged EVERY DAY, and well how often do you REALLY see a patient more than once anyway? And those are good points. People are in and out of the Acute Care hospital all the time, patients I evaluate today are often gone tomorrow, if not sooner. And I rarely see the same patient twice because I do evaluations a lot and often not so many treatments.

Well, my answer is this. I work on the burn unit. I am, for the most part, the primary therapist on the burn unit. And because I am the primary therapist there, not only do I get to treat the patients I evaluate, but I also get to follow them through to discharge to home or to rehab. So I get to know a lot of my patients. And when you have patients with large body surface area burns, you see them a few days a week for often months at a time before they go to rehab.

The particular patient I refer to, was a relatively young man, I believe, in his late 40's/early 50's. You may have heard about him on the news. He was homeless, and was sleeping behind a supermarket, when he woke up on fire, with kids laughing at him. WOW, I thought when I first read the chart, how cruel can kids be.... And they NEVER found the kids/persons who did it to him...

Anyway, this happened in April. He was burned over 60% of his body, was on the ventilator for ages, had enough surgeries for about 50 people, and was in the burn unit a looooooooooong time. Its interesting to see the progression, when patients with those serious burns come in they're on the ventilator for awhile, and you only worry about maintaining their ranges of motion, and then when they start to wake up and be able to get out of bed, you get to see their personalities and really get to know them as you follow their treatments. And it's odd because you know about a period of their lives that they have no clue or memory of. Anyway... I digress. I do that a lot.

My patient was on the ventilator for awhile because of an inhalation injury, had tons of surgery and I really started to get to know the really great person he is when he woke up and I got to work with him on mobility. And he was such a great guy, really personable, humorous, motivated, and just a genuinely nice guy. And FINALLY in the beginning of July, I passed off to the rehab unit. And when he was there, I got updates from the other therapists, and got to follow his progress and pop in and say hi from time to time. And today he went home. YAY! Well, I'll miss him, but I'm so happy that he's done so well.

"Success of therapy is not measured in monetary gains, but in human spirit."

Its so rewarding to know the difference I made, the human spirit I passed, and it makes me love my job more. This man was SO sick, had a SERIOUS injury and will be disfigured, and disabled for a long time, if not forever. But he's leaving the hospital, going home to his parents home, walking, communicating, performing his activities of daily living, and happy, just to be able to breathe fresh air and eat home-made food, not hospital food. The little things which he appreciates so much more. And I'm happy for him. And I just wanted to share, because this why I like therapy so much. The spirit that was elicited in this therapist/patient relationship, the fact that I KNOW I made a difference in this mans life, and I KNOW how precious the small things that we take for granted in life are, and I KNOW I can change the little things that make BIG things happen. If I didn't range his joints all those months, work on his initial mobility, get him up and moving, stretch his arms and legs, he wouldn't be walking today. He wouldn't be going home in the healthy state he is in. And I'm so proud to have made that difference.

A friend recently told me to "Leave the world different from how you found it." And what I do as a therapist, that spirit, helps create that difference in the world. I love that.

Hello, Mom???

Hello? Anyone out there? Just wondering if anyone is reading this, my BLOG. I'm enjoying writing it, I wanted to know if anyone is enjoying reading it.... Any comments? Lemme know world!!!!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Feeling Betterer

Evening has come and I'm feeling a bit betterer. I had my watercolors class tonight and somehow focusing on the painting made me feel calmer, and more peaceful. I worked on several versions of one painting which was fulfilling to see and fix it all, and there was some good give and take in the class, the professor helped me out more this time and I got a lot of good feedback from him and from classmates on some of my technique. I've never painted before but I seem to have a good feel for it. Apparantly all I need with it is time to grow with the technique. But I guess all anything needs to imporve is time. And then I can sell my paintings for tousands of dollars each and I can pay off all my school loans! WOO HOO!!!

Anyway.... Time made me feel better today. Well, that and some food and water. :) I did break the fast early becasue I was feeling ill, and I did have a full supper prior to sundown, but I feel better now that the day is done. I feel a bit upset still about my spirit, but its better.

I'm glad I went to my class tonight, I wasn't going to but it really helped to calm my spirit. And thank you Rob for your beautiful comments to my last post, I truly appreciate them, and I know I can just walk into the other room and hug you and tell you in person, But I wanted to share the semtiment with the world. I love you as well. Very much.

So, feeling betterer, I know I can do a little more soul searching for my balance in Judiasm. I love Judaism, I love its practice and I love its spirit. I WILL find it and fit it all back into my life again.

Thank you all for listening, for those of you in the internet world reading this. Have a good night, and may your dreams be sweet. :)

Oh Well...

Oh well... So much for fasting. I was doing pretty well....... and then I almost fainted. It was my own fault. There's a reason that you're not supposed to shower on a fast day. But I was feeling SO yucky, and so sweaty and dirty that I needed to. I knew it was one of the things besides not eat that you weren't supposed to do. But I figured I'd feel better afterwards.

I was wrong. It made me feel worse, and I almost fainted in the shower. But I came out ok, I turned off the water and sat down, opened the curtain and just sat until the feeling passed me. And then I ate something because I was still feeling so shaky. And I felt so much better after I ate. And I know you're not supposed to fast to the point of being ill. But I feel guilty and bad. So much for observance to feel more connected and to pray for easier observance. Like the spirit I was looking for is saying HAH! YOU CAN'T HAVE ME!!!

All I can say, and hope to feel is that I did my best, and my heart and spirit was, and still is in the right place and frame of mind that it was when I started this fast. I still want to fix my observance, and find my spirit. I couldn't make it through the fast but instead of meaning that maybe the spirit isn't out there, maybe it means that I just need to look a little bit harder. I hope so.

Tisha B'Av

Today is Tisha B'Av. Tisha B'Av, is the ninth day of the month of Av. It is a day of mourning to commemorate the tragedies that have happened on this date, most notabley the destruction of the First Temple in 586 BC, and Second Temple in 70 CE, in Jerusalem.

However, other tragedies have happened on this day...

In the year 1095 the First Crusade was declared by Pope Urban II. 10,000 Jews were killed in first month of Crusade. The Crusades brought death and destruction to thousands of Jews, thousands of non-Jews, and totally obliterated many communities in Rhineland and France. In 1492 the Jews were expulsed from Spain as part of the Spanish Inquisition. In 1914, Britian and France declared war on Germany starting the First World War. in 1942, Hitler started the liquidation of the Warsaw Ghetto and the deportation of Jews to the death camp Treblinka. In 1989 Iraq walked out of talks with Kuwait. And in 1994 the deadly bombing of the AMIA building (the Jewish Community Center in Buenos Aires, Argentina) killed 86 people and wounded some 300 others.

Tisha B'Av is the culmination of a three week period of mourning, and it is a fast day. It is a 25 hour fast, one of only two on the Jewish calandar, the other being Yom Kippur. So from sundown last night to sundown tonight, no food, no water, no brushing my teeth, no showering, no leather shoes. Some people refrain from sitting on comfortable chairs and couches, they sleep on the floor, as one would in mourning. All to mourn the loss of the temple.

And I believe in all of this, it is a meaningful day, I, as do many Jews, mourn the loss of the temple, and await the coming of Moshiach. I'm not so sure how I feel about the whole animal sacrifice thing, but I do know that the world will be a much more peaceful, tolerant, happier place to live once Moshiach comes. I like that idea a lot, but that is another discussion for another day. And when Moshiach comes, the Holy Temple will be rebuilt in Jerusalem.

And I've tried to think about how I feel about the subject, and I've done some reading. One source basically said, that the Temple was one one place in the world where one could feel and see Gds presence and miracles. And after its destruction, it became much harder to feel and see that presence. Now, the small things, keeping Kosher, having Shabbat, lighting candles, going to shul, celebrating holidays, all those little rituals give you Gds presence and spirit. But that's hard in this modern world and so we should strive for those little Jewish miracles in our lives, and we on Tisha B'Av should mourn the loss of the ever present presence and ease in which it could be felt with the Holy Temple.

And I liked that. Because thats how I've been feeling, that its SO HARD for me to keep my Jewishness and observe the rituals that at one point in my life seemed so easy. Now my life is different and there is working on Saturdays, Kashrut though not feeling it, not being able to go to shul as much as I want to, not celebrating holidays in the ways I used to or really want to. These are all decisions and comprimises I've had to make. I couldn't find a job where I could have Saturday's off. So I comprimised, and said ok, I'll work Saturdays, so I could find a job. And I love my job. But i miss my saturdays. I work every other weekend, and the Saturdays I'm off, there are so many other things that need to be done, so i really don't get to shul. I haven't been since Passover! I keep a Kosher home, but it doesn't feel like it because I find it so hard to do anything else Jewish. I feel guilty lighting candles on Friday night if I'm going to be working on Saturday. I often feel as if that presence of Gd is eluding me in my day to day world, when it all used to be so much easier.

And so I fast. I fast even though I'm hungry, and thirsty, and have a headache, and I'm not feeling as Jewish as I once did, and not really so happy about it. I fast to mourn the tragedies of this day but I also fast for that lost spirit that I miss. I pray to regain that spirit, that spirituality, that feeling and presence of Faith and Love and Gd. Whether that be with the coming of Moshiach and the temple, or a resolution in my day to day observance, I hope that this fast brings about Peace and Spirit for me and for the world.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Weekend Again, sort of...

Weekend here! Well, sort of. I'm working this weekend. As you can see, because who gets up at 6AM on a Saturday to BLOG? I DO I DO!!! Although this Saturday feels more like Monday. I was off Thursday, and I was sick yesterday, so I had 2 days to sit around and sleep. Oh yeah and runnnnnn to the lavatory. I did pretty much 2 things yesterday, sleep and run. The sleep felt good, I feel betterer today. not perfect, but betterer.

BUT, Even though my tummy isn't feeling 100% I must go to work. One because I felt guilty enough taking one day off, not that I should have felt guilty, I needed to take the day, I wouldn't have been functional as a PT. But I DID leave the hopsital short ond a Friday, so I do feel a little bad, BAD TUMMY!!!

Two, and more importantly, this is the weekend, and if I don't show, there aren't many to cover for me, PLUS I'm doing scheduling today, and will PROBABLY carry the PT pager(unless someone else is DYING for it.) So if I don't go in there won't be a schedule, and there won't be any therapists to eval. all the patients I would have eval'ed yesterday, PLUS all the new patients for today! So today I will eat bagels and jello and drink tea and get through my day.

And I'll get through tomorrow and Monday so I can have off Tuesday to fast. (Tuesday is the 9th of Av)(More another time)

Although I must say, that while its stinky to get up on a weekend morning at 5:30 and lose you weekend to work, once you're actually IN the hospital, it's actually a pleasant day to work. The hospital is much quieter on the weekends. Yeah there are Dr's and Nurses there, but somehow fewer, and fewer therapists, case managers, administrative peoples, etc. You don't get squashed in the elevators on the weekend, you can go from the 8th floor to the 2nd floor directly and not stop at every floor in betweeen because people are too lazy to take the stairs one floor, DOWN ONE FLOOR!!!
The cafeteria is quiet, there are usually less patients to be seen unless you're backed up from the week, the pager doesn't go off every 2 seconds, it's just plain quieter and you can get more patients seen, because it's quieter. Not so bad.

I hope all out there have pleasant weekends, and that your tummies are feeling well. For me, time for work! :)


Friday, July 23, 2004

Hiking Killington Peak

Just got an email from the photo peoples at Snapfish , they posted my latest pictures! I wanted to share a couple of my favorites from the hike Rob and I did at Killington Peak in VT about a month ago. It was a great hike, though the mountain KICKED MY REAR END!!!!

It was a really hard hike for me, but I perservered and kept going, and Rob was awesome, letting me hike at my own pace, not pushing me to go faster. And the climb was worth it, the day was beautiful you could see for miles and miles due to the clear weather, the clouds were amazing, the whole view was amazing. I don't think I've seen a view like that since I was on Massada in Israel. I'm really glad that I didn't quit, and I kept going because that view was beyond worth all that pain. I learned a lot about pushing my limits that day, and what you can achieve when you just slowly and steadily push instead of giving up and hiking back. I would have missed the view of a lifetime.

As a hiker once wrote, "Give your heart to the path, and beauty will come" Now that quote can be used in multiple ways, but that day I trusted the path, I trusted the hike, I kept pushing forward, and I not only received beauty, but also wisdom in return.

So here are two of my favorite pictures.

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Rob and I at the top! The guy who took the picture asked us where we wanted to stand to get the best view behind us. My comment was just take the picture, wherever we stand there will be an amazing view!

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This one is of some of the clouds, The clouds were so beautiful that day. More of them showed up as the day went on but mostly they were of the type that you might find on a child's bedroom ceiling. Again, totally worth the climb to see that view.

Just wanted to share. If you'd like to see more of the Killington pictures (I have a roll and half of them) lemme know and I'll either post more or send you the Snapfish link.



I am disliking my stomach right now. I dislike tummyaches, and I dislike them when they make me feel unable to deal with daily life. Unable to enjoy a friend's event, unable to spend time with family, or friends, unable to spend time with Rob, unable to go to work. According to the doctor nothing is seriously wrong, so that's good, but it's frustrating to deal with when you're running off "you know where" so often. And it comes and then goes away and feels better and then comes back again, with no regular pattern. Sometimes it stays for days and weeks and sometimes it doesn't.

And today it kept me home from work. I HATE THAT. I hate feeling like I have to call in sick and I hate feeling so ureliable, but how can I treat patients in the hospital when I don't know when my stomach is going to tie itself in a knot? What am I going to do tell an unsteady patient to wait here, just a minute, while I run off to the ladies room? And I KNOW we're so short staffed, so I hate to leave them down a therapist, ESPECIALLY on a Friday which is ALWAYS the craziest day. But here I am, sitting on my couch, stomach in a semi-knot, blogging, instead of stretching a burn patients ankles, or teaching an elderly lady not to leave the walker by the wall and then walk to the bed, because that's a great way to fall.

But I know this was the right thing for my body today, to let it clean itself out, and to rest, which I think it needed. But I feel a bit guilty. I guess my perfectionism is showing through, my desire to be good at whatever I do go to work even though I may have a tummyache and not let anyone down. But I'm working this weekend, and I guess I can do that then, work extra hard or something, despite what I may be feeling, because the patients in the hospital are, inarguably, feeling worse. So if they can work with me to get out of bed, I can get myself out of the bathroom... Well, out enough to walk a patient or two. :)

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Free Shows

In the hospital, patients wear hospital gowns. In CT, they call them "Johnny Coat's." I've never heard of that before. And I've never found out where the name "Johnny Coat" came from. I've always called it a hospital gown. If anyone does know the origin of the Johnny Coat, I'd love to hear it.

ANYWAY, I digress... As you all know, hospital gowns are famous, or infamous rather, for being WIDE OPEN in the back. They do tie, but when in bed, it's usually easier to keep them untied so you don't get all twisted around and mummified in them, especially as moving around is often hard for my patients.

So, when I stand a patient up and take them for a walk, I always tie the back of the gown. And often I joke with my patients that I'm tieing the gown closed, "I don't want you to flash anyone." Or I'll tell them "No free shows today."

I've gotten some good responses. One woman, as we were going out into the hallway asked if there were any men around. Thinking she was concerned about being exposed, I looked and told her no one was there, and her gown was closed anyway. Her response was "Darn it!"

One guy told me that by closing the gown when he went in the hallway I was "taking all the excitement out of life."

But my very favorite response was from a little 90-something year old lady. I tied her gown and told her, "No free shows today!" Her response was, "Yeah, because if I'm going to give anyone a show, I want to get paid for it!"

I was ROLLING. It was so funny. That's one of my favorite hospital stories. Hope y'all enjoyed it!! Have a good night!!

Neural Conduction Velocities in the Lower Extremity in Patients with Raynaud's Phenomenon

Neural What? in the Lower What? in Patients with WHAT?!?!?!

Ok, lemme explain. First, this was the title of the Master's Research Project that I did with 3 of my classmates, Nick, Bryan, and Gary. That's us here the day we presented to our classmates and professors.

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Thats Bryan in the blue shirt, Gary behind me, and Nick on my other side. I hope they wont mind me posting them on the net but with the good news I'm about to spill to the universe I don't think they'll care. :) Good guys, I really enjoyed working with them on this project.

Anyway so what in the world did we study?

"Neural Conduction Velocities in the Lower Extremity in Patients with Raynaud's Phenomenon"

Ok, so let's pick the title apart in English, not PTese. The body has nerves, nerves "run on electricity" so to speak. So a Neural Conduction Velocity is how fast a signal or current runs along a nerve. So we studied the speed of the nerve currents in the leg in patients with Raynauds Phenomenon. Rauynaud's Pnenomenon is a disorder that affects the extremities, hands feet, (fingers and toes), also ears and nose. What happens is the blood vessels go into spasm when lets say the hand is exposed to a change in temperature, usually cold, and blood cant get to the fingers. The hands turn white as the blood leaves, blue because not enough oxygen is getting to them, and then red when blood flow returns. And this is a painful thing. There are 2 types of Raynaud's Phenomenon. Type1 is when it happens for no known reason, and Type 2 is when it happens as a result of another disorder.

So basically we studied how Raynaud's affects the speed of the nerves in the legs. We tested the speed of the nerves with electrodes in patients with type 1 and 2 Raynaud's Phenomenon, and normal people. And we found that Raynaud's affects the nerves. It slows down the speed of the nerves in the leg, but not all of them only 2 of them, and not with both types of Raynaud"s. And there is some clinical significance, and some chicken and egg theories, but I won't get into all of the details here.


Why am I babbling about this here? Well Nick called me yesterday. We had submitted the paper to the NY PT Association (NYPTA) and it was accepted for a poster presentation at the NYPTA Conference in October, and THEN it can probably be published. So you can just come to the conference or read out article and find out the details that way!!!

YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!!

Ok I think we know that I'm excited. But this is EXCITING!!!

Unfortunately, I'll be on vacation in San Francisco the weekend of the conference, so I won't be able to present, but its SO EXCITING!!! We worked SO HARD on the project and it's SO EXCITING to see the benefits, to be accepted to present, and to meabe be published! I'm so happy!!!! YAY FOR GARY AND BRYAN AND NICK AND ME!!!!!


Ok well thats my good news for the day. Hope yours is going as well!!!

Wednesday, July 21, 2004


OH BABY! A quickie! Well I just wanted to say a quick Hello Hi to the internet world before I go to work. I'm a sleepy Carie right now, but have no fear tomorrow I can take a break and sleep late. Hope everyone out there is well, or anyone, for it doesn't seem anyone is reading my thoughts and days.... HELLO OUT THERE........

Anyway, have a good day all, I'll post more later.
Time for Hospital stuff!

On a closing note, I'll leave you with a favorite thought of mine...

If I eat equal amounts of dark and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet?

Any thoughts??

Monday, July 19, 2004

Monday Over

Well, my Monday is pretty much over. I thought this might be a good complement to this mornings post. I had a pretty good day, actually. Quiet at work. I got there early to do scheduling, which, as we are perpetually short staffed, was minorly frustrating. But I had mostly pleasant, easy going, non-rude patients today. And the ones who may have been rude were too confused to really do any more harm than babble in a mix of Italian and Gibberish. And the good part about getting to work a half hour early is that you get to leave a half hour early. :) So I got to come home, buy food, cook a bit, and relax. And while others unforturnately may have worked something like a 17 hour day today, I think I had a pretty good one.

And the good part of it is though, that while I'm at work, it doesn't SEEM like I'm working. I can't stand getting up int he mornings, but my day usually goes by pretty quickly. I read a chart, make sure I have orders, see the patient, write it up and repeat the process. And I get to meet a million different types of people. Some of my patients can be annoying but some are pretty entertaining. Before I know it it's lunchtime, and before I know it again, its time to go. So that's good then. When I was in High School, someone, (my hairdresser I think actually) told me the best piece of advice I think I've ever gotten.

"Choose a career where you will never have to work"

I like that. Find something you love to do because, if you do it'll never be work. I think I've found that, and I consider myself lucky. WOO HOO FOR PT!!!!!!

So my Monday went by pretty quickly, and usually quick Mondays lead to quick weeks. (or 2 weeks) Tomorrow is Watercolors class, Wednesday is, as my sister says, "Humpday." Thursday is off, and then there's the "non-weekend."

I hope all of you out there in internet land had a good weekend, and a good Monday, and I hope that you have a good week ahead.

Weekend Over

Well, the weekend is over. You might say, well, it'll be around next weekend, only 5 days away. Well for me that would be 14 days. And the last full weekend I was off before this one was actually 4 weeks away because I had to work July 4th, which of course fell on my weekend off. I usually work every other weekend, the WHOLE weekend. Which for me brings about so many thoughts and issues.

First there's the Shabbat thing. I don't like working on Saturdays, I miss not having Shabbat, I miss not going to Shul. But I couldn't find a job in the PT hospital world without having to work SOME Saturdays. Well then I chose the job with the MOST Saturdays.

Not that I don't like my job. I love the hosptial, love the people I'm working with, Love Acute Care, and I get days off during the week to make up for the weekends, but those every other weekends are just starting to wear on me. And I miss Shabbat.

I feel out of touch with the rest of the world. I'm working when people are off and off when people are working. So my weekdays off, while good for Doctor appointments, aren't good for seeing your friends who work a normal 40 hour work week with all weekends and holidays off. I mean I live with Rob and I feel like we don't really get to spend time with each other, our schedules are so out of sync.

And why is it that every single weekend I'm working, the weather is perfect, and then it rains on my weekends and weekday comp. days off?

ANYWAY... this wasn't meant to be a negative sounding post.....So what was my point before I started rambling about working weekends... Oh yeah I was going to talk about my weekend off. It was a good one. Not the best, it had its goods and bads but mostly it was a good weekend.

Rob and I went to my cousin's engagement party. it was actually a REALLY nice day Saturday, though hot, it was a nice relaxing day sitting in the backyard with family and friends, eating and talking etc. It was nice. Saturday morning before the party I spent time watercoloring, which was really relaxing. And I got to get up later than 6AM! (It's weird when 8:30 seems like sleeping late)

Suunday Rob and I went to NYC for the day, which didn't quite work out how we wanted it to. I think we sepnt more money yesterday doing nothing than we meant to... We had brunch with a friend, but couldn't figure out what to do afterwards. We tried the Planetarium and the Museum of Natural History but the lines were sooooo long so we just decided to go home. The highlight of being in the city was sitting on the bench in the middle of Broadway deciding what to do, and this homeless man, comes by spouting things about kosher bagels and lox, and shelter, and how women like him because he smells so badly. It was kinda funny, made us laugh, though if you look at the story thats probably behind the homelessmess its kinda sad. The man was probably mentally ill, thrown out of a home/hospital, off his medications, etc. It's so sad at the lives wasted like this...

So, with the lines to long at the Planetarium, and both Rob and I tired, we ended up coming home to CT, and relaxed the rest of the afternoon. So it turned into a pleasant Sunday.

And today is Monday, and that was my weekend. I'm very protective of my weekends, try to make them good ones. I think I mostly succeeded. Spent time with family, Spent time with Rob, Spent time with friends, Spent time sleeping, Spent time being creative. :) And so now it's Monday. I'll be off Thursaday, work the weekend, and then off Monday, work the rest of next week, and in 14 days I'll have a weekend free again.

And so my life goes. More later, for now it's time to get patients out of bed at the hospital. :)

Saturday, July 17, 2004

ME! :)

 Posted by Hello
That's me at my cousin's wedding one year and like 3 days ago.  It's the most recent picture of me alone that I have.  My hair is SOOO much longer now, and I don't usually wear evening gowns, but oh well.  I'll try to get another one up soon.  This is the picture I wanted in my profile ,but I can't seem to get it to work, so until I do, this will have to do.  Enjoy!

The Blog Thing

Ok, so I'm jumping on the bandwagon, I'm blogging.  Why?  Dunno exactly. 
1. Thought it might be fun. 
2. It's a good way to know what's going on in other peoples lives that I may not speak to as often, if they update it that is. 
And I'm feeling isolated a bit since I've moved to CT, I don't know anyone here really, and I miss my friends...  Maybe this can get me back in touch more often or keep me in touch with everyone.
3. Rob started one, and I enjoy it.  Adam has one and when he used to update it was nice to read.  I've read other people's random blogs, that I've enjoyed. 
4. I don't have tons much else to do. Maybe it'll be fun and entertaining.  :)
5. Since my old, old, old website is old, old, old, and not updated and I can't find the password to it to either update it or delete it, I can create a new corner of the web for myself, all without knowing HTML.
6. It might be nice to keep track of my own thoughts and days to look back on.
7. Maybe I can meet people in that big ole internet void.
8. And the ultimate answer to any "Why?".....   Why not?!?!?
Well...  I guess maybe I do know.  :)
Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy my BLOG.  I'll try to update it as often as I can.  :)
Oh yeah and here's "Rob's Rabbet" in case anyone wants to read his stuff.  :)
And remember...  SMILE!  Your teeth need to breathe!