Monday, August 16, 2004

Everyone's Getting Married!!!!

What's wrong with me!?!?!?!

Adam and Laurie and Brad and Jackie and Allison and Tozar, and Anley and Jube all got married this summer.

My cousin Willie proposed to his girlfriend Allison and is getting married next July. Daryl proposed to my cousin Marin and they're getting married the week before Willie and Allison.

Today I get an email from my friend Eric from college, whom I really have lost touch with these past couple of years, he just proposed to Melissa, another friend from college, and they're getting married in November!

I am so excited and happy for all of my friends and cousins! I'm ecstatic for them to be taking this happy new step in their lives!

Everyone's getting married!!!!
So what's wrong with me?!!?!?!
Maybe everything, maybe nothing.

I have a boyfriend, and I love him. I want to marry him, but I am SO NOT READY to be married. As a matter of fact I'm TERRIFIED of marriage. I love Rob, I live with him, day to day life probably won't be that much different. So why not just get married? That's what people keep telling me. For some reason it just seems so HUGE and pretty scary. Like a step in life I'm not ready to take.

I've just taken so many new steps in life, graduated school, new job, "adult" independence. I don't want to add marriage to that just yet. But what's wrong with me that everyone else my age seems to be getting it all, and I'm scared? Why is EVERYONE asking me, So, when are you and Rob getting married? Why are people expectantly expecting me to tell them I'm engaged when I say I want to tell them something. Why did Rob's family tell him they needed to talk to him because he needed a kick in the pants. Why did he have to tell them that it's me who needs the kick in the pants. We've been dating for almost 2 and a half years, we live together, we love each other. Why can't I just be ready?

I WANT to get married, I want to have the wedding and celebrate and spend the rest of my life with Rob. I love him very much. But the concept of marriage is just scary right now. I just don't get it.

Everyone's getting married! So what's wrong with me?

2 comments:

Rob Cole said...

Nothing is wrong with you. You're the BEST!!!

grace said...

marriage IS scary... i never thought i'd ever get married. since high school, i just "KNEW" i wasn't getting married because it so terrified me... it has nothing to do with my parents or anything. they've been happily married now for years and years... i just thought i could never do it...

but sometimes you just have to jump on in... it definitely doesn't suck. i'm very happily married and i'm glad i did it now... just do it! :)