Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Interesting Patients

I've had some interesting patients recently.

Today, there was the interesting diagnosis. "Loose Screw"
I found that rather funny. In fact, the woman really did have a loose screw. She had cervial surgery about five months ago and the hardware was coming loose and needed to be removed. She left before I could see her. But the diagnosis gave us all a little bit of entertainment.

I've had some pretty loopy patients lately. One woman on the psychiatric unit was talking with, and playing with a cat while I was treating her. Except there was no cat. I guess I shouldn't laugh, she did have some serious psychological issues. And one lady I'm treating on the burn unit is having some pretty serious and pretty violent hallucinations. Its been a challenge to treat her.

And morphine wacks people out too. I treated this man, he fell at home and broke his hip, needed a hip replacement. I treated him and he was LOOPY! He was completely disoriented and confused, didn't know where he was, he didn't know when it was, according to him, it was March of 1943. He didn't remember why he was in the hospital, when i asked him, he said I was a baaaad boy The doctor came in and saw how confused he was and said it was because of the drugs. My patient, when the doctor asked him how he was doing, happily responded, I took drugs! His balance was terrible, he kept falling oll over me. When he was trying to stand, he was grabbing onto my pants, onto my pager in my pocket. I didn't want him holding on to me, because it was an unstable place, especially onto my pager. I asked him what he was grabbing onto, he siad I'm holding the roll of fat I was half shocked half hysterical laughing, I asked him, Are you calling me fat? He said, I'm calling you beaituful! I was rolling the entire time I was treating this guy, he was hysterically funny because of the morphine. Pain meds are a wonderful thing. :)

And then there are the cute old men. I had one guy literally dancing on the burn unit this week. He had the whole floor hysterical, he was a bit confused and he was trying to teach us to dance, he was shaking his bootie, it was hysterical! The little old men are so cute, they're half deaf and can't hear you and are so funny! One guy was SO deaf, you had to shout so loud for him to hear you but if you asked him if he had a hearing problem he denied it profusely, He just plain had no clue. And then there's this one guy who looks like the six flags dancing man, and sounds like the grandfather on the Simpsons.

These are the things that make my job entertaining. The cute patients with funny lines, dances, voices, it all makes me laugh and keeps me going.

1 comment:

BigRedHammer said...

I enjoyed reading your psych ward antics. Being so drugged out must be like living in a dream. Everything makes sense to you, but when you explain it to someone else they can't understand it. It's too bad they can't be themselves.