Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Popstrology

Yes, POPstrology. A new system to figure out your life and actions and personality and future based not on the stars in heaven but the stars in Rock n Roll.

I was born May 21, 1978. (You now have NO excuse to forget my birthday!)
According to Popstrology, I was born in the year of the Bee Gees. Here's what that means:

The strongest voice of popstrological protest against disco and the wicked hedonism for which it stood came from the least likely of places in 1978: the traditionally nonconfrontational constellation Oh…Canada. It was the churchy, parental Anne Murray who stood up and became the year's Opposing Star in a year when no one else was brave enough to take the job. Disco's own excesses may ultimately have done more than Anne Murray did to bring the constellation Disco Ball crashing down, but that does not diminish the importance of her dissenting voice to those born in the popstrological Year of the Bee Gees. She may have sounded like a big, fat bummer at the time, but in being one, she endowed the children of 1978 with at least some slight sense that just because the whole world seems to get behind something, it doesn't make it right. Of course that same lesson was reinforced by 1978's Wild Card star, Barbra Streisand & Neil Diamond, a popstrological Power Couple that most of the world got behind, but that in many, many ways simply wasn't right.


And my birthsong is
May 14-May 27: With a Little Luck, by Paul McCartney and Wings.

And this means:
Even a two-piece puzzle is hard to put together with one piece missing.
Yes, popstrologists lay a great deal of responsibility at the feet of your Birthstar for the aftereffects of his early-eighties forays into the constellation Power Couple, but popstrologists do not regard him as a malevolent force, per se. And they certainly don't take the John Lennon side in the debate over who the greatest Beatle was. John and Paul's bitter divorce was like most bitter divorces in that neither party offered what could reasonably be called a fair portrait of the other or an objective postmortem of the failed relationship. John was just plain mean to suggest in How Do You Sleep? that Paul's post-Beatles music was Muzak, and Paul was just plain disingenuous to play the role of the upstanding good guy when discussing the Beatles' breakup. But John was good at being mean, and Paul was good at being disingenuous. There may be no more fitting way to describe the greatest partnership in pop-music history than to say that the whole was greater than the sum of its parts, and while even John must have known this on some level, it was Paul who did the most to prove it. Was there a friend, a lover, or a colleague in your past who brought out the best in you, despite your fundamental differences? You may spend the rest of your life trying to repeat that magic, child of Paul McCartney, for you are more aware than anyone that you require a counterbalancing force to achieve true greatness. Like your Birthstar, you may experience what most consider success on your own, but your deep yearning for partnership is unlikely to let you find happiness that way.

So that's my popstralogical sign. OOOOH BABY!!! What's YOUR Sign???


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